"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
