Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
