i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
ok first of all what the fuck
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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