Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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