Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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