the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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