I'm going to jail i love you
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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