What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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