THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
