So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
