All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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