they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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