I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
