Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
