I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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