Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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