So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
