why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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