My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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