OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
