It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
