Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
