Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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