I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
