Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
