these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I had to cum in my sink.
there is puke in my bra ... again
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
