Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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