are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
