marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
