so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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