3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
