3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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