You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize