I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
