This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
