just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
