She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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