Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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