well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
