Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
