He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
