I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
