Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
