perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
