Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
