But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
