We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
