how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
