Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
