Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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