Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
why is half of my head shaved?
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