Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
