..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
