If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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