I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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