wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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