Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
