thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
