How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
