i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize