why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
