It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
