No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
