HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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